Remus's Secret
by HarnGin
Summary: A rather sappy tale of how James Potter caught Lily Evans with help from his friend Remus Lupin.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not my toys; just borrowing them for a bit.

Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and James Potter sat on their beds in their dormitory at the top of Gryffindor tower. As usual, the four seventh year boys were discussing girls. James ran a hand through his already untidy black hair in an unconscious gesture while Sirius boasted about his latest conquest, a fifth-year Hufflepuff called Emma Greeley. Lately, Sirius could only convince girls from other houses to date him; Gryffindor girls had decided his "love 'em and leave 'em" reputation was well-deserved. Truthfully, Sirius loved the challenge of convincing girls to go out with him more than the girls themselves. Not that he didn't enjoy a good snogging session or more, if the girl agreed, but after three or four dates, Sirius was usually ready to move on to the next conquest.

Peter, on the other hand, had dated the same girl since their fourth year. The other three boys thought the plump blonde was rather insipid, but if she suited Peter, his friends were prepared to accept her.

Remus rarely dated. He was afraid, or so his friends believed, that being a werewolf made him too dangerous to allow relationships to develop. The truth was Remus had lost his heart to a pair of emerald eyes in their first year. He would never tell his friends, though, because, unfortunately, James loved her, too. Lately, Remus had begun to suspect James's feelings were reciprocated; he knew for certain that Lily Evans, owner of the emerald eyes, definitely found James attractive as he'd caught her staring at his friend when Lily thought she was unobserved.

"Would one of you tell me how to get her to go out with me?" asked James for what seemed like the millionth time.

Sirius stretched his arms above his head. "Prongs, my friend, I think I have the perfect plan."

James looked hopefully at Sirius. When Sirius didn't elaborate, he got impatient and asked, "Well, what is it?"

Sirius's eyes twinkled. "You're head boy; she's head girl."

"So?" asked James.

"Man, do you need me to spell it out?" asked Sirius.

Peter sniggered as James said, "Yeah, I guess you do."

"Don't say it, Padfoot," said Remus suddenly.

His three companions stared at Remus. "Aw, come on, Moony," said Sirius, "I was just having some fun."

Remus took a careful breath and said quietly, "There's a difference in having fun and being crude. James wants some real advice, not lewd suggestions."

Sirius was annoyed. "You make a suggestion then," he snarled.

Remus carefully considered his options. He could purposely sabotage his best friend's chance to win the girl they both loved _or_ he could offer some honest advice. Loyalty to his first real friend combined with his suspicions about Lily's feelings won out. "It's Valentine's Day in two weeks' time," he began. "Send her some flowers, some chocolates, and a sweet, but not sappy, card. Send 'em by different owls at different times. Get one of her dorm mates to put a red rose on her pillow for you. She'll have to acknowledge the gifts—she's too well-mannered not to—then you can ask her out. She'll be flattered—any girl would be—and if she finally realizes you're sincere, I'm sure she'll agree to go out with you."

"Hey," said Sirius unwillingly impressed. "That's pretty good. Who knew we had such a romantic heart living in our dorm?"

Peter sniggered again. Flushing, Remus quickly opened the first book he could lay his hands on and pretended to read complex transfiguration spells.

James looked thoughtful. "I think you're on to something there, Moony. I'm going to try it."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not my toys; just borrowing them for a bit.

Over the next two weeks, James sent and received numerous owls. His three dorm mates correctly assumed he was making the arrangements for Lily Evans's Valentine's surprises.

On the morning of the 14th, the four friends woke early. Each of them wanted to see Lily's reaction to James's gifts. They hurriedly dressed and went down to the common room. Just as they arrived, Remus caught sight of Lily going through the portrait hole. She was carrying a single, red rose.

Remus and his friends left the common room and headed down the stairs to the Great Hall and breakfast. Catching sight of Lily sitting half-way down the Gryffindor table, the four boys quickly took seats where they had clear views of her. Peter and Sirius began piling food on their plates. James was too nervous to eat, and Remus felt as if a rock were sitting in the pit of his stomach. He knew that his suggestions would win Lily's heart, and, truly, he wanted to be happy for James, but it was still hard to watch the girl he loved fall for his best friend.

Suddenly, hundreds of owls swarmed into the Great Hall. A snowy white one swooped down the table and landed in front of Lily. Surprised, she untied the envelope attached to the owl's leg. Using her wand, Lily slit open the envelope and pulled out an old-fashioned Valentine. Puzzled, she opened the card and read the sentiment. Lily laughed silently and looked down the table at James who grinned at her. Whatever the card had said had put an unmistakable glint in her emerald eyes. Several of her friends leaned over to read the card, but Lily quickly concealed it in her book bag. Remus noticed that a red rose was lying on the table in front of her.

Remus felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. He couldn't sit there any longer. Grabbing his book bag, Remus stood up.

"Where're you going, Moony?" asked Peter.

"I …er…need to make a detour before herbology," said Remus abstractedly.

Sirius gave Remus a hard look but refrained from making any comment. James was too busy staring at Lily to notice his friend's sudden departure and Peter was too occupied with his breakfast to care.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Not my toys; just borrowing them for a bit.

A/N: Thanks so much to my reviewers and, an extra thank you to those who've added this story to either your alerts or favorites list(s). You made my day!

Chapter 3

Remus never knew how he made it through his morning lessons. As if in a trance, he somehow moved from class to class only dimly aware of where he was. Sirius seemed to be there whenever Remus tried to rouse himself enough to take notes or perform tasks.

After what seemed to be mere minutes, Remus found himself seated at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall once more. In a daze, he heard Sirius's voice commanding him to eat something. It seemed to be coming from a great distance. Remus ignored him. He could not eat. The rock that had been sitting in his stomach at breakfast seemed to have grown larger. It was now pressing on his diaphragm and restricted his breathing.

The arrival of a tawny owl woke Remus from his stupor. The owl landed directly in front of Lily. Since owls normally did not deliver mail at lunch time, several heads turned to stare. A strangely curious expression appeared on Lily's face as she untied the oblong package from the owl's leg. Remus knew the package contained James's gift of chocolates.

Remus reached for his book bag. "I can't watch this," he said, not realizing he had spoken aloud.

"Yes, you can," said Sirius quietly in his ear. "Just concentrate on breathing and don't look at either one of them."

Remus turned to look at Sirius. The sympathy in his eyes was almost too much.

"Moony," Sirius said suddenly a little more loudly than was necessary. "We'd better hurry to the library to return those books we borrowed."

Thankful for the excuse to leave the table, Remus stood and followed Sirius from the Great Hall. The two friends walked without speaking until they reached the portrait hanging outside the Gryffindor Common Room. Sirius gave the password, and the two clamored through the portrait hole. They went through the empty common room, up the stairs, and into their room, where Remus sat upon his bed with his head in his hands.

Sirius waved his wand and conjured a glass of amber liquid from thin air. He thrust the glass into Remus's hand and said, "Drink it, you'll feel better."

Mechanically, Remus lifted the glass and took a large gulp. It was like drinking liquid fire. His throat burned and Remus began coughing and sputtering. Eyes watering, he gasped croakily, "What the hell was that stuff?" In the moment before Sirius replied, Remus felt warmth spread throughout his body.

"Brandy," said Sirius quietly. "You looked as though you needed it."

Remus did not answer. Sirius, who had been standing in front of Remus the whole time, sat beside him. "Man, if you felt that way about her, why'd you tell James what to do? You could have done it yourself, you know."

Remus answered bleakly, "She's attracted to James, not me. I know it; you know it. Hell, the whole school knows it. I just want her to be happy."

Sirius nodded sympathetically. "Listen, give me your transfiguration homework, and I'll turn it in for you." At Remus's start of surprise, Sirius continued, "I'll make some excuse to the others for you. After class, I'll go down to the kitchens and get you some food. That way you don't have to watch them together at dinner. You can just stay here and …er…compose yourself. Until you can face them, I'll do my best to run interference for you."

Remus sighed softly. He appreciated Sirius's offer. "Thanks, Padfoot."

"That's what friends are for," said Sirius smiling slightly.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Not my toys; just borrowing them for a bit.

A/N: Here it is—the last chapter of my little story. Thanks to all who reviewed and added it to their alerts/favs list(s).

Chapter 4

That night when an elated James finally returned to the dormitory to get some sleep, Remus was lying awake staring at his canopy; however, he feigned sleep when James quietly called his name. After a few minutes, he heard James climb into his own bed. It was some time before the sound of his quiet snores told Remus his friend was sleeping. Realizing that sleep was not coming to him this night, Remus climbed from his bed, threw on a dressing gown, and padded, barefoot, down to the common room. A glance at his bedside clock had told him that it was almost four in the morning, and so he knew no one else would be down there.

Remus sat on a cushy sofa directly in front of the dying fire. He stared into the remaining flames, which seemed to get lower as he became more depressed. Remus did not hear the approach of the seventh year girl and, in fact, was so immersed in his own misery, he did not realize she had sat beside him until she put a hand on his shoulder and said, "Thanks, Remus."

Remus looked up. The woman he loved was sitting beside him dressed in her school robes. Her hand was on his shoulder. Remus shook his head, sure she was a vision conjured by his imagination. When he looked again, she was still there. His shoulder burned where her hand rested. "Wha…? I mean, what did you say?" he asked.

Lily smiled at him. Merlin, he loved that smile. "I said, 'thank you,'" she responded. "James told me that it was all your idea. Without your help, I would still be hiding from James and myself. So I just wanted to say 'thanks.'"

Remus felt himself flush. He was thankful the only light was from the dying fire. "Oh, yeah," he muttered. "er, you're welcome, I guess."

Lily's smile grew wider. She leaned closer toward him. Something telegraphed her intention just before Lily's lips brushed his. "I must _not_ respond," Remus told himself, but the feel of her lips against his was too much on top of everything else that had happened that day. Remus put his arms around Lily and deepened the kiss. Her surprised intake of breath jerked Remus back to his senses. "I'm sorry, Lily," he said pulling away from her. "I shouldn't have done that; please forgive me and forget it happened."

Remus could not see Lily's expression, but something about the way she held herself told him that, although surprised, Lily was not offended or frightened by him. "I'm really sorry, Remus," she said shakily. "I didn't realize…oh, God, what a mess."

Remus stood up suddenly. The urge to put his arms around Lily to comfort her was so strong that he knew he must put some distance between them. "Lily, there is no mess. You and James are meant for each other. There's no room for me in your relationship. If you will just forget this ever happened, I swear, I'll keep my distance in the future."

Lily stood as well. She walked over and put her arms around Remus and enfolded him in a strong hug. "Remus, I'm the one who should apologize. I've ruined your friendship with James."

"No, Lily," interrupted Remus almost desperately. "As long as James never finds out how I feel, we will remain friends. I only ask that you never, ever tell him. Let me stay away from you for a couple of days, and I'll be fine."

Lily hugged Remus again. "I'll never forget what you did for us. Thank you."

Remus returned the hug. He knew this would most likely be the one and only time he'd ever be able to hold Lily in his arms and he wanted to savor it. The feel of her warm body against his triggered a response Remus needed to suppress. Abruptly letting her go, and hoping she had not noticed his instinctive reaction to her, Remus said, "You're welcome. Now, go to bed." He turned away from her to sit back on the sofa.

Lily walked to the doorway that led to the dormitory stairs. She paused before going up them and turned to look at Remus once more, "Good night, Remus," she called quietly.

Remus did not answer. He sat on the sofa with his face buried in his hands. His shoulders shook as he miserably contemplated what might have been.

The end.


End file.
